As couples across the United States grapple with the so-called “sexless January,” experts are encouraging the revival of an underrated and often overlooked intimate act: the hand job. Licensed sex therapist Vanessa Marin, speaking to Women’s Health, emphasized the potential of this classic act, which many adults may not have revisited since their teenage years.
“The hand job definitely doesn’t happen enough in adult bedrooms,” Marin said, lamenting that this simple yet pleasurable act often falls by the wayside in adult relationships. She added, “It’s a huge shame because a hand job is a great way to bring pleasure to your partner.”
Holly Richmond, a certified sex therapist and somatic psychotherapist, shared similar sentiments, advocating for a broader view of what constitutes satisfying sexual experiences. “We tend to think of hand jobs as something that comes before ‘sex,’ but remember, sex is what you want it to be and changes with each and every sexual experience,” Richmond explained.
Beyond the Prelude: Hand Jobs as a Main Event
Experts agree that hand jobs can be more than just a prelude to other forms of intimacy—they can serve as the main event. “Hand jobs can be a great way to tease as a prelude to oral or intercourse, or a great way to get off at the end,” Richmond noted.
For couples looking to spice up their sex lives, Women’s Health compiled nearly 30 tips to master the art of the hand job. One key recommendation: watch your partner masturbate to understand their preferences. “For many, watching their partner masturbate is a huge turn-on,” Richmond said, adding that it can help partners learn the specific speed and motion their significant other enjoys.
Communication and Connection
Building intimacy through a hand job isn’t just about technique. Marin emphasized the importance of communication and connection, encouraging partners to gauge grip pressure and maintain eye contact. “You can be a lot firmer than you think,” Marin advised, suggesting gradual increases in pressure with real-time feedback.
Richmond proposed another twist to enhance the experience: incorporate mirrors. “Make eye contact while you stroke your partner near a mirror and then allow them to watch themselves enjoy it and you,” she said. For some, the voyeuristic element can heighten arousal and deepen the connection.
Breaking Barriers
The experts hope that these tips will help couples overcome hesitations and embrace a more exploratory and communicative approach to their sex lives. Whether it’s through firmer grips, mirrored reflections, or simply taking time to learn and appreciate one another’s preferences, the hand job has the potential to reignite passion and intimacy.
As the month progresses, the advice is clear: it’s time to rethink and rediscover the basics, one simple touch at a time.
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